Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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