the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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