i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
