my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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