1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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