is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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