i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
