don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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