If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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