he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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