the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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