My first STD was from a foam party
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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