they need to just BURY HIM!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
