Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry mackenzieman hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(925): View more from California

just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.

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(740): View more from Ohio

i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

You should probably take note of that and make it happen.

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(760): View more from California

I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.

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(561): View more from Florida

I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.

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