then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
