I'm so fucking centered right now
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
