Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
