my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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