How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
