I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
