shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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