You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
