I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
