i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
