I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
