I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
