Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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