I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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