I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
