My friends, they love my intelligence
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
do nipples grow back?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
