i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
