I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
