In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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