only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
