Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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