The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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