I wish I could punch you in the face.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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