i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
