she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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