We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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