guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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