whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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