I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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