What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
