im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
