I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
