Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
