ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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