I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I would ride that face into the sunset
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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