thus making me awesome and them whores
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
