Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
