I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize