i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
