Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
