I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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