We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
this will be a night to untag.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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