I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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