she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
