She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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