Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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