I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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