i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
