A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
