Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize