I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just found puke in my bra..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
