We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
