I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
