Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
